|Duel In The Desert|
A Modest Proposal -
"Duel In The Desert"
by Kathy Pharos for GlobalCircle
February 5 2003
I have been sitting here thinking about how all this posturing sounds so much like grade school playground games. It sounds so familiar, the "he said, she said" and the "I know-just because" - the bullies running around picking on everyone, and crying when justice is finally served. But these are grown "boys"-dealing in blood and death and suffering. These are chicken hawks-never having fought in a war or experienced firsthand the human devastation and suffering. These are remote control cowards, eagerly pontificating on the merits of bombarding a populace with over 400 bombs in a day and giving it catchy Hollywood movie names like Shock and Awe. Unfortunately, we're dealing with the real world here-not some contrived PR gimmick or mindless video game.
Maybe the boys need a match more suited to their level? In the spirit of fair play (and acting their age) I propose a "Duel in the Desert" with "Rock Em Sock Em robots". Remember them?? These two blocky plastic creatures stood in a roped-off Rockem Sockem arena . They were the Blue Bomber and the Red Rocker and there were levers outside the arena to control their punches and jabs. You had seperate buttons to control each fist, and their weak spot was the chin. A direct hit there ,and their head would whir and spin, making a satisfying sound, while the winning boy jumps up, whooping and hollering in a victorious ,emotionally satisfying frenzy.
Picture this-let's get those two boys in the desert and have a showdown-just those two. Georgie Jr could be the Blue Bomber (for his blue blood) and Saddam could be the Red Rocker. Winner take all-no cheating or pushing or shoving or whammys. The winner gets all the money that would have been wasted in a war given to them for use on their people (who ARE the ones suffering presently). Or maybe even they could get a shiny medal and a plastic sword and both sides can take their war chests home and spend it on their suffering people-or give all their citizens a nice bonus! (Here's your Rockem Sockem rebate.....)
What a marketing bonanza! There could even be practice matches and pre matches. Imagine Dick Cheney against Saddam Jr! Would General Powell be Georgies trainer?? I bet the "Duel in the Desert" would have a nice logo and stunning graphics.Imagine all the commercial endorsements! There could be McDonalds game cards and McRockem happy meals! The Carlyle Group Arena would be the perfect venue for the "Duel in the Desert" ( has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?) Starbucks could come out with a new flavor-Rock Em Sock Em robusto! The winner could even get the keys to a brand new Humvee, a years worth of gas and their very own brand new "Rock Em Sock Em robots".collectors edition. Who needs a war to get out of a recession?? Deficit spending?..Pshawww, no problem! They could even have special sweatshop uniforms and colors, and Nike could even come out with a special commemorative shoe! Why give a tax cut to the rich when you could have point spreads and odds and betting and reap in a veritable bounty? You could even have a yearly rematch so they can keep getting it out of their system (and keep getting profits). There could be Rock Em Sock Em memorial glasses, playbooks, and trading cards! How about some authentic desert sand??
Everyone would benefit, no-one would get hurt. After it's over the boys could go home, wash up, and have dinner. They can then spend countless hours retelling their fight stories and throwing punches in the air. No blood, no mess, no lost lives, no devastated countries and environments. No guilt, no pain, only a release of two little boys aggressions with plastic creatures and spinning heads and whirring sounds. Noisy enough to keep the little boys amused and safe enough to keep their mommies happy.
No, Peace is the ONLY way. Honor the Earth. We are all connected. GLOBAL PEACE NOW!
Kathy Pharos [email protected]